The Parent’s Home

I’m starting to get that nervous feeling like I get the week before a show opens.  Now that I know I only have 4 days left of lounging about, and in 4 days I will be starting my novel, I’m feeling nervous that I’ll sit down to write, and nothing will come of it.  Just like when a show is about to open, and my biggest fear is that I won’t remember any of my lines.  I’ve thought and thought about this book for the past 4 months, and here we are almost in ACTION time, and I can’t help but feel that thought of “What if I don’t finish it?  Or even worse, what if I don’t start it?”

The truth is, I know I will, and I know it will be good.  I have done so much research, I have laid in bed every night going over and over the plot in my mind, and I have lived it.  How else to prepare?

I will have to find out.  I am also very excited to be starting a life.  We have been in that space between life and non-life for too long that drinking has become off limits.  I think I have so much bottled up inside of me that everytime I have even one drink, I get this incredible sensation to hit something or scream at the top of my lungs – and, quite frankly, this is not a good way to make new friends in a foreign country.

So, writing will become my way of living – through the characters, their thoughts, and their actions.  You better believe, they are going to be full of life, full of heart, and just…well, just FULL – not in the eating constantly way, but in the way that gives someone a rounded existence.  I think just having an objective again, a reason to wake up in the morning, une raison d’etre will be enough to jump start this.  Heck, just living alone will be enough to celebrate with a good opening chapter in my book!

Today is Thursday (half way through Thursday) – just have to get through Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Friday – wake up around 10AM, drink tea, eat apple, go for run. Shower, get dressed, respond to some emails, and watch Music and Lyrics while eating some lunch.  Then what?  Talk to some people on Skype, and hopefully dinner will be ready by then…

Saturday – Jock’s car arrives!!!! Maybe go for a spin? Do some running, and eat take away with boyfriend’s parents.

Sunday – PACKING!!! And more packing and more packing and more….maybe run, maybe be bored, and day dream about the next day of freedom, weight loss and writing…Sunday roast will be cooked by boyfriend’s mother.

I think this is highly doable!!

On another note, what is the UK thinking by monitoring Facebook sites??  Thanks Eileen for sending this – I’m deleting my profile…it’s all a bit creepy for me.

Jock just got back from running, and has all my laundry in his hands (I guess he started a load on his way out?).  He’s so good – and I should be getting back to my boring next couple of days anyway.  Ho Hum.

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