Indian Food, Americans and a Short Man

Posted on June 24, 2009 by MAL

Lynnette, Rachee, Me, Caroline

Curry night – a delicious way to start the weekend. Four couples, lots of naan, loads of tikka sauce, scoops of yellow rice, half pints of lager for the ladies, one beer spill by the boys, a bit of drool over Fergie the singer (not to be confused with the Duchess of York) from the boys and several swoons over Take That the band (minus Robbie Williams) from the girls. Bellies engorged, conversations flowing, a brief stint to the bar next door and tiredness set in. Jock and I had been up especially early that morning running, and had to wake up early the next day for Londontown! Friday night done and lovely it was.

Bryan, Liam, Matt, Dave, Jocko, Charles

Americans in London Alert! I have to admit…it was refreshing to have two fellow Americans with me all day Saturday. Being able to spout whatever comes to mind, not thinking before we speak, nor caring how loud we get. God, I’ve changed. Americans used to embarrass me – until I realized I was one. Charles and I together means trouble – perhaps it’s the Towson roots, quarter life angst, or our memories of being in Tours, France together and destroying that poor small town – whatever it is, he’s fun…and so is his boyfriend.

After brunch in Soho, two bloody marys and a hard milk shake later, Charles and Bryan left me for Sister Act unsurprisingly (I would have left me too for that show) – and I joined Jock at a Canadian pub in Covent Garden. I got lost, Jock came to find me, and we watched rugby. Once in the pub, no words were exchanged – apparently it was an exciting game. Like football and soccer; don’t get or like rugby.

Met two of Jock’s friends I had never met before – little Matty and Daaaave. Matt doesn’t look that short in the above picture, but they say he is. Dwarves, trolls – anything small Matt is called. In fact, there must be a law amongst his friends saying “thou shalt comment on Matt’s smallness each time he is in sight.” There were even a few random texts from friends outside of London reaffirming his stature. He takes it all in a short stride.

Saturday was a really really good day. The laughter didn’t stop nor did the pub crawling. Plus I got to speak some French – always makes the day a bit brighter for me.

Unfortunately, Gemma wasn’t in town that weekend – so Jock and I are heading back to London this weekend to see them both. Really looking forward to seeing them both again.

Thursday night is the first meeting of the “Ladies Who” Club – yay!

The Three Questions – Leo Tolstoy

Posted on June 22, 2009 by MAL

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I decided to do a quick google search on what I hope to be the title of my book – “The Three Questions” and came upon this short story by Tolstoy (there was also a children’s book adapted recently also based on this story). Other than being completely relative to my book, it’s a great life lesson. Read below:

Mr. Leo Tolstoy

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One day it occurred to a certain emperor that if he only knew the answers to three questions, he would never stray in any matter.

When is the best time to do each thing? Who are the best people to work with? What is the most important thing to do?

The emperor issued a decree throughout his kingdom announcing that whoever could answer the questions would receive a great reward. Many who read the decree made their way to the palace at once, each person with a different answer.

In reply to the first question, one person advised that the emperor make up a thorough time schedule, consecrating every hour, day, month, and year for certain tasks and then follow the schedule to the letter. Only then could he hope to do every task at the right time.

Another person replied that it was impossible to plan in advance and that the emperor should put all vain amusements aside and remain attentive to everything in order to know what to do at what time.

Someone else insisted that, by himself, the emperor could never hope to have all the foresight and competence necessary to decide when to do each and every task and what he really needed was to set up a Council of the Wise and then to act according to their advice.

Someone else said that certain matters required immediate decision and could not wait for consultation, but if he wanted to know in advance what was going to happen he should consult magicians and soothsayers.

The responses to the second question also lacked accord.

One person said that the emperor needed to place all his trust in administrators, another urged reliance on priests and monks, while others recommended physicians. Still others put their faith in warriors.

The third question drew a similar variety of answers. Some said science was the most important pursuit. Others insisted on religion. Yet others claimed the most important thing was military skill.

——————————-

The emperor was not pleased with any of the answers, and no reward was given.

After several nights of reflection, the emperor resolved to visit a hermit who lived up on the mountain and was said to be an enlightened man. The emperor wished to find the hermit to ask him the three questions, though he knew the hermit never left the mountains and was known to receive only the poor, refusing to have anything to do with persons of wealth or power. So the emperor disguised himself as a simple peasant and ordered his attendants to wait for him at the foot of the mountain while he climbed the slope alone to seek the hermit.

Reaching the holy man’s dwelling place, the emperor found the hermit digging a garden in front of his hut. When the hermit saw the stranger, he nodded his head in greeting and continued to dig. The labor was obviously hard on him. He was an old man, and each time he thrust his spade into the ground to turn the earth, he heaved heavily.

The emperor approached him and said, “I have come here to ask your help with three questions: When is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times?”

The hermit listened attentively but only patted the emperor on the shoulder and continued digging. The emperor said, “You must be tired. Here, let me give you a hand with that.” The hermit thanked him, handed the emperor the spade, and then sat down on the ground to rest.

After he had dug two rows, the emperor stopped and turned to the hermit and repeated his three questions. The hermit still did not answer, but instead stood up and pointed to the spade and said, “Why don’t you rest now? I can take over again.” But the emperor continued to dig. One hour passed, then two. Finally the sun began to set behind the mountain. The emperor put down the spade and said to the hermit, “I came here to ask if you could answer my three questions. But if you can’t give me any answer, please let me know so that I can get on may way home.”

The hermit lifted his head and asked the emperor, “Do you hear someone running over there?” The emperor turned his head. They both saw a man with a long white beard emerge from the woods. He ran wildly, pressing his hands against a bloody wound in his stomach. The man ran toward the emperor before falling unconscious to the ground, where he lay groaning. Opening the man’s clothing, the emperor and hermit saw that the man had received a deep gash. The emperor cleaned the wound thoroughly and then used his own shirt to bandage it, but the blood completely soaked it within minutes. He rinsed the shirt out and bandaged the wound a second time and continued to do so until the flow of blood had stopped.

At last the wounded man regained consciousness and asked for a drink of water. The emperor ran down to the stream and brought back a jug of fresh water. Meanwhile, the sun had disappeared and the night air had begun to turn cold. The hermit gave the emperor a hand in carrying the man into the hut where they laid him down on the hermit’s bed. The man closed his eyes and lay quietly. The emperor was worn out from the long day of climbing the mountain and digging the garden. Leaning against the doorway, he fell asleep. When he rose, the sun had already risen over the mountain. For a moment he forgot where he was and what he had come here for. He looked over to the bed and saw the wounded man also looking around him in confusion. When he saw the emperor, he stared at him intently and then said in a faint whisper, “Please forgive me.”

“But what have you done that I should forgive you?” the emperor asked.

“You do not know me, your majesty, but I know you. I was your sworn enemy, and I had vowed to take vengeance on you, for during the last war you killed my brother and seized my property. When I learned that you were coming alone to the mountain to meet the hermit, I resolved to surprise you on your way back to kill you. But after waiting a long time there was still no sign of you, and so I left my ambush in order to seek you out. But instead of finding you, I came across your attendants, who recognized me, giving me this wound. Luckily, I escaped and ran here. If I hadn’t met you I would surely be dead by now. I had intended to kill you, but instead you saved my life! I am ashamed and grateful beyond words. If I live, I vow to be your servant for the rest of my life, and I will bid my children and grandchildren to do the same. Please grant me your forgiveness.”

The emperor was overjoyed to see that he was so easily reconciled with a former enemy. He not only forgave the man but promised to return all the man’s property and to send his own physician and servants to wait on the man until he was completely healed. After ordering his attendants to take the man home, the emperor returned to see the hermit. Before returning to the palace the emperor wanted to repeat his three questions one last time. He found the hermit sowing seeds in the earth they had dug the day before.

The hermit stood up and looked at the emperor. “But your questions have already been answered.”

“How’s that?” the emperor asked, puzzled.

“Yesterday, if you had not taken pity on my age and given me a hand with digging these beds, you would have been attacked by that man on your way home. Then you would have deeply regretted not staying with me. Therefore the most important time was the time you were digging in the beds, the most important person was myself, and the most important pursuit was to help me. Later, when the wounded man ran up here, the most important time was the time you spent dressing his wound, for if you had not cared for him he would have died and you would have lost the chance to be reconciled with him. Likewise, he was the most important person, and the most important pursuit was taking care of his wound. Remember that there is only one important time and it is Now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion. The most important person is always the person with whom you are, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future. The most important pursuit is making that person, the one standing at your side, happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life.”

Leo Tolstoy

Ladies Who…..

Posted on June 17, 2009 by MAL

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Summer Time and The Living’s Easy

Posted on June 16, 2009 by MAL

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Last week was busy. Wednesday we went to a BBQ at friends Phil and Alison’s house, and my eye oozed the entire time. I had gone running earlier that day, and thought I had something shoot into my eye. I cut the course short by a mile, ran to the car and started digging into my eye. I’m not sure if this caused it or just made it worse. Needless to say, seven hours later, my eye was still crying and felt like an eyelash had a tiny dagger and was digging with all it’s might. Jock thinks it might have been a trapped nerve. I think I was a good circus act for the night though. Don’t know what happened with rugby or football, but everyone else seemed to be having a good time. I just ended up drinking too much wine. Woke up the next morning, and it was all gone – except my head was pounding a bit.

Friday night, we went to an Oasis concert. Luckily, had no pee thrown on me, as Jock assures me is the usual case for most British concerts. How gross!

Jocko and MAL

Saturday, we had a BBQ. It rained as the BBQ was being put on, but Jock succeeded in cooking the hamburgers at our neighbor, Fred’s house.

Sunday, we watched canoes race by the harbour. Absolutely gorgeous outside.

This week I’m mostly looking forward to cracking out more of my book. I’m finally through the hardest part of starting it (although I have a niggling suspicion that editing might be even harder). I went back through the first forty pages and realized I had left a lot of holes in parts. I would mention something, and then not completely fill in all of the layers. I’m afraid of being boring and going on and on – which people who read my blogs might actually think I do too much of anyway.

Looking forward to seeing some Americans soon – never thought I’d be saying that, but as much as I try to believe I’m not, I am indeed an American. This weekend I’ll be seeing a friend of mine from Paris – Charles. We studied in Paris together only to find out we were from the exact same town in Baltimore. I never thought I’d travel to a foreign country only to meet someone from Towson. We became good friends, and now he’s traveling with his boyfriend to London for his birthday this weekend. Brunch, some pub crawling, and a day in London. Courtney will hopefully come to visit me soon as well – hey, Court?!

Time for me to go back to the book. But not before I speak about the grass.

Four more days of sunshine in England makes me happy. The grass grows so quickly here. Every week it needs a good cutting After letting it grow for the entire first month we lived here, it took another month to actually cut the entire lawn (or garden as they say – I don’t see how a backyard can be called a garden. There aren’t flowers growing everywhere!). It’s a bad idea to let grass grow for a long time – I would never know because the last time I cut a lawn was when I was 11 and trying to earn money to prove to my mother that if we got a dog, I would be responsible for it. She let me have the dog after I mowed a sufficient amount of lawns, and now 15 years later she is still taking of my deaf, blind and pussy lump-ridden terrier.

Phew, glad I got that off my chest.

P.S. Stay tuned for information on a hip, young book club we are starting.

Surprise!

Posted on June 10, 2009 by MAL

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Saturday – my mom’s graduation. The day of my unveiling. She basically almost pooped her pants when she saw me. I called out her name “Judy Judy” as she descended the stage after receiving her degree, and, with a blank stare on her face she waved vaguely in my direction – like Miss America being blinded by too many hard questions. I called again, “This way – Judy!” She briefly smiled until it came “Oh My God! What are you doing here?!!” she screamed. The arms fluttered up and down as if she were a bird being shot at, and she ran over to me enveloping me in her arms. We both got teary eyed, and I suddenly realized Uncle Bobby wanted me to take some pictures of her shocked reaction. I fumbled with the camera trying to sputter out “Act surprised – need picture” and got an extreme close up of her face instead – at least she was smiling wide. She then had to re-enter the queue to go back to her seat. She said she cried at her seat. Good job everyone who knew and kept the secret this time! It worked!

I have returned from the United States – barely. I know, I know. I never mentioned I was going to the United States in the first place. I went for about ten days – four of which I was in hiding at my sister’s house. My Uncle Bobby called me a couple of months ago to discuss a trip to Baltimore for my mother’s graduation from college at Community College of Baltimore County – Essex. He wanted it to be a surprise for her. The entire family has not been together in one room since before I was born, so I knew this would mean a lot to everyone.

Apparently, she found out about the surprise three weeks in. So, we double surprised her by telling her I could no longer come due to unforeseen circumstances. She admitted to knowing I was coming, and now was more upset that I couldn’t come. I felt bad, but it had to be done. She had to be tricked.

Surprise set in place.

Forward to May 26th when I landed in Baltimore.

It was so nice to be back to where I grew up. The longer I was there, the more I realized I hadn’t been back for a significant amount of time in nine years, and didn’t really know Baltimore anymore. Since I had to be conspicuous for four days before my mom’s graduation, I ran Lake Montebello around my sisters house, roamed through the haunted cobblestone Thames Street of Fells Point and took in the rancid smell of the dead fish killed by algae in the inner harbor. I was able to catch up with my Best Friend since I was 5 – Courtney! I also found out how popular soccer is in Baltimore when I tried to watch the Champions League Final at the Slainte Pub and realized I had no chance of fitting in that tiny bar. Luckily, Koopers Tavern next door was the secret spot to be – empty and with good food. I also applied for a UK Visa – we’ll come back to this bad idea later.

Thursday night Courtney took me out to dinner at Carrabba’s in Hunt Valley, MD. A nice chain restaurant that she had left over gift cards for. I forgot how big the portions are in America – and how good the service is! We really are spoiled.

Friday evening my Uncle took my sister and I out for crabs at Ocean Pride Restaurant – one of the staples of crab picking restaurants in Baltimore. My absolute favorite type of eating – picking apart the entire animal to get to the meat on the inside…slaving through the intestines, poop, and eyeballs are just a few of the things that tickle my fancy when eating crabs. Honestly, I love it. There is no other animal I would enjoy doing this to, but I always say “You aren’t a Baltimoron unless you know how to pick a crab, hon.” While Brayden, my nephew, banged on the table with his mallet and entertained the father next to us who kept saying ‘Oh, how he reminds me of my boy,’ and ‘he’s a handful, isn’t he?’ but at the end said ‘Well, now I can walk away. Just wait til he’s a teenager – that’ll be some trouble’ (we didn’t know whether to laugh or be insulted) – Uncle Bobby, my sister and I stuffed our faces with crab meat. Although, that’s the problem with crab – you work so hard to get to the meat that you end up working off all the calories you’re putting in.

I love my sister and my relationship now. It’s so easy with her, and we can just be. With a bit of knowledge that I am sounding completely cheesy, I have to say it – she’s the greatest sister any sister could ask for.

Monday we headed to Cape May – the WHOLE family. My mom, my two uncles Bobby and Jimmy, Jimmy’s girlfriend Kathy, my aunt Donna and her husband Larry, my sister Amanda and her son Brayden, my grandmother Lee, and my two cousins Becky and Sam with Becky’s boyfriend Sean. Little drama, lots of alcohol and good times had by all!

Bad idea this whole applying for a visitor Visa for longer than six months, I found out. I got refused entry. But now I am back in the UK for a bit until we figure out what’s next!

Oh, and thanks to Phil and Alison for letting us stay in their house back in February! We really enjoyed the alone time!