The last two weeks have been eye-opening.

I was beginning to get a bit unhappy and negative about not having a job, not helping to earn money in the house, and I started thinking I shouldn’t really be here in Bristol.  I missed the USA like I never thought I would, and the days were boring me to no end.  Even though I have this book I’m writing – I realized I was writing it purely out of habit rather than passion. The book club has been great, but that only happens once a month and I needed more than that.

I knew I had to either change my attitude or do something about it.  The change started happening last week after Jock and I attended a Theatre Bristol meeting.  It was the first time I had stepped into a theatre in about eight months, and as soon as I stepped in, I inhaled deeply.  There is nothing like the smell of an empty theatre – the mustiness, the sweat, the emotions all in the air from the last performance hanging there, not heavy, but eager and waiting for the next moment to be alive and have an audience cast their eyes on the experience that only live theatre can provide.

Over a hundred people showed up to the meeting to just discuss what was happening in the theatre world – that’s it.  They all met to have a chat.

After the meeting, I wrote to the leaders of the evening, and this is part of what I said:

“I attended last night’s meeting and was blown away by the openness and clarity imbued in the format from which you decided to lead the discussions.  Thank you for holding such a meeting.  Coming from Los Angeles and New York, I have never known such a fully all-encompassing theatre get-together to exist – well, except within the unions and I would hardly call those meetings warm or open.”

That night stirred something in me.  It wasn’t a desire to run back to the stage and it wasn’t a change in mind about leaving acting behind.  It was my acceptance of me as an artist.  I would never be able to hide from the fact that that’s who I am and I need stimulation unlike non-artists. Even just being around the other actors and writers fed that desire to create.

What am I doing differently now?

1.  I am reading several inspiring books, including New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.
2.  I wake up every morning about an hour earlier than I was before to meditate and put into focus what I want from the day.
3. I journal for fun every night.
4. I am entering a writing contest a week so I can become a published author before my book is finished.
5. I am researching grants for writers in order to bring in some money to help me finish my book.
6. Yoga
7. Being conscious of the thoughts I let into my mind – boy, that ego is a tricky character!
8. Applying for an internship once a week in the theatre doing anything (that was part of the email I wrote to Theatre Bristol).
9. I sit up straight when I write instead of slumping – it makes a difference.

10. And my favorite task I just finished – entering the Ladies Who… Club into a contest being held by Glamour Magazine! You can see my entry I submitted here as a PDF or below (and notice my English spellings):P.S. Our book for this month is The Time Traveler’s Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger.

I can’t believe what a difference all these little changes make.  I found that, although running and writing were great ways to keep busy, I need a well balanced and well rounded life of activities.

And, how lucky am I have to have this opportunity?  The other part of me thinks – you were crazy to not take advantage of all this free time! This is the time in my life when I can dedicate myself to ANYTHING I want to do.  When else will I be able to have this time? (Hopefully from now on if I’m careful).  Like Jock said, this is my time to be the best I can be.

Jock and I are better than ever too – even if my cheeriness is very anti-English (not really!).

On another note, Jock and his football (aka soccer) team won their championship this weekend – I was a proud girlfriend who stood in the rain and cold for four whole hours with her pom poms and skirt (nope, again, not really!) while they played game after game and won. Please mind the blinding uniforms!

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