In hono(u)r of our third monthly “Ladies Who…” Club get-together coming up tomorrow, I wanted to start a weekly blog about just feeling good being a lady!  Feel free to post it on your blog if you have one (see bottom of post), or post a comment to say “I am a Lady Who…”.  Please be sure to include little known facts about yourself, something to brag about, or even just a mundane task you pulled off today.

It could be anything. It could be “I am a Lady Who… dances to John Denver songs.” or “I am a Lady Who… wears scarves on a daily basis.” or even more obscure “I am a Lady Who… plucks her chin hair.” Then, explain why it was important for you to get that off your chest and what significance it means to you to be a “Lady Who…”

I’ll go first…

“I am a Lady Who… cries every time I watch the movie Hook.”

Yes, there are people who may know this about me. I sometimes watch the movie three or four times in a row when I’m alone. I may not have done this for quite a while, but I’m sure the effect will be the same…Rufio, Rufio, Rufioooooooo…he dies, I’m left feeling like a newborn child naked in the wilderness amongst the wolves. How could they have done this to him?

That’s not the part that really gets me though – it’s when Peter gets back from Neverland and realizes that his business, his drinking, and his cell phone that is bigger than his head are not as important as his family. He crawls in the snow, and still thinks he can fly. He is a changed man.

“Granny Wendy: So… your adventures are over.
Peter Banning: Oh, no. To live… to live would be an awfully big adventure.”

But that’s still not the part that really really gets me. It’s the make believe of it all.  The Lost Boys and their make believe food, their make believe lives and their belief in all that is full of adventure. I wanted to be a Lost Girl, and I believed that if I thought hard enough about a carrot cake, then it would actually appear on my plate. I wanted to come up with words that would create a good come back at any moment.  I wanted someone to touch my face and say “It is you, Meagan” and when they said that it meant I was the person they always thought I was and hoped I was, and that I could fly and fight and crow and never grow up.

It has laughter, it has tenderness and it has excitement.  It’s one of my favorite movies of all time, and I’m proud of it.

Here’s some good banter amongst the boys:

Rufio: Boil-dripping, beef, fart-sniffing bubble butt!
Kids: Bangarang, Rufio!
Peter Banning: Someone has a severe ca-ca mouth, you know that?
Rufio: You are fart factory, Slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!
Kids: [in unison] Ugh!
Peter Banning: Substitute chemistry teacher.
Lost Boy: Come on, Rufio, hit him back.
Rufio: Mung tongue.
Peter Banning: Math tutor.
Rufio: Pinhead.
Peter Banning: Prison barber.
Rufio: Mother lover.
Peter Banning: Nearsighted gynecologist.
Rufio: In your face, camel cake!
Peter Banning: In your rear, cow derrière.
Rufio: Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig.
Peter Banning: You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude.
Thud Butt: [with the rest of the Lost Boys] Bangarang, Peter!
Rufio: You… you man! Stupid, stupid man!
Peter Banning: Rufio, if I’m a maggot burger why don’t you eat me! You two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin’ paramecium brain, munchin’ on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!
Don’t Ask: What’s a paramecium brain?
Peter Banning: I’ll tell you what a paramecium is! That’s the paramecium! It’s a one-celled critter with no brain, that can’t fly! Don’t mess with me man, I’m a lawyer!
Kids: [chanting] Banning, Banning, Banning is bangerang.
Rufio: Rufio! Rufio!
Peter Banning: Oh, Rufio, why don’t you just go suck on a dead dog’s nose.

Now, who are you?!

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