(For some reason, the entry below did not post on schedule. So, I’m back now! More soon on that. In the meantime, please read below!)
As you read this, I am on a plane back to Dulles International (I scheduled the entry to go live at 10:25AM, the time our plane takes off). Jock and I land in Newark, NJ for two hours layover before heading to DC for my mom to pick us up at the height of rush hour traffic at 5PM. She must really love me because anyone who knows DC traffic, knows that it is the worst!
To kick off the re-pat experience, Alisha wrote an entry for me. Finding Alisha’s blog, Seattleite Imagery, has been serendipitous – definitely for me. I’ll let her do most of the explaining, but I feel so lucky to have someone going through the same things I will be going through in the next couple of months. I especially like her entry, “Bird by Bird, Brick by Brick” – that sums up what I know from experience moving and repatriating can be like, but we often forget after it’s gone and done with.
Please welcome Alisha:
When I heard that the Lady who Lunches was coming back to the States I was delighted, partially for the selfish reason that I also just moved back after eight years abroad and will have someone to share the repatriate experience with.
My British husband Dan and I decided last June that four years in England was enough and began to embark on our year-long exit strategy. We took the unorthodox but luxurious route home to Seattle via 6 months in New Zealand (January in the Southern Hemisphere – highly recommend it) to visit his parents and just touched down in the Emerald City in June.
It’s hard to believe it’s only been a month; part of me feels like I’ve been back forever, which is only a good thing. I’d been warned about reverse culture shock, how difficult it can be for the expat to return and find they no longer fit in anywhere. I was concerned my rose-tinted glasses would be ripped from my face, people would be uninterested in my experiences and all the things I’d learned as a foreigner (and holy crap I’d learned a lot!) would be null and void, forcing me to squeeze back into the life I’d left as a high schooler. Yikes.
I am happy to report however that re-entry has been relatively painless. I feel bad saying this, but I’ll go so far as to say it’s been easy. I mean, easy is relative – moving across the world without a job never compares to a week in Bali. But with a track record of cold-moving to a new city or country every two years for almost the last decade, I’m embracing the smooth landing.
A huge reason the only reverse culture shock has been positive is that the US is engineered for comfort, convenience and consumerism (sorry for the alliteration), a reality I consider it’s best and worst feature. It’s something I took for granted growing up and always enjoy rediscovering. In the US I have the opposite challenge I had in the UK: not getting too comfortable. I have a love/ hate relationship with consumerism, but gotta tell you I LOVE walking into Trader Joes, grabbing my free coffee and samples, cheap food and being fawned over by the sales staff. This all helps.
I’ve met quite a few Seattle transplants (usually from the mid-West) who comment about the Seattle freeze. Apparently Seattleites just aren’t as friendly as the rest of the country. Walking into coffee shops and dodging smiles and invitations to casual conversation, I always think this supposed freeze is hilarious. Three times in a row while asking directions to coffee shops on Capitol Hill (Seattle, not D.C.), perfect strangers have said, “I’m not sure, but I can look it up for you,” and have preceded to bust out their iphones. So I tell those mid-Westerners, “Honey, you ain’t seen nothin’,” and that Seattle is perfectly tropical compared to the London tundra of inter-stranger interaction. Basking in smiles, if not sun, is a great way to transition.
Another reason this supposed reverse culture shock has been MIA is the generosity of friends and family. It makes a huge difference to move somewhere you know people, specifically people related to you. I’m so used to starting from complete scratch when I move that I feel kind of like I’m cheating. But instead of feeling guilty I’m just feeling fortunate to be able to housesit for friends with beautiful houses, borrow parents cars and be taken care of.
The most important reason why moving back to the US has been minimally traumatic is larger than good friends, coffee and smiles. The main reason is that we were ready. When I fled the US straight after snatching my degree I had to get out. Back then the thought of staying Stateside suffocated me. But now, after doing what I needed to do in Japan then England then New Zealand, I’m ready to come home. I appreciate my imperfect nation now and, focused on the pros I have more patience with the cons.
I’m all about blooming where I’m planted but right now I feel so fortunate to be redeployed to the familiar turf of the Evergreen state. People always ask us if we’re back for good, which is a difficult question for nomads. For us, being somewhere for good isn’t comforting but scary. But I will say being here is good and I have no plans to leave.
I’m really looking forward to hearing how our lunching lady gets on in America and hope everything goes as well for her and Jock as it’s gone for us. In the meantime I’ll be perched up here in the Pacific Northwest warming the country up for her and enjoying being home.
