Interview with the Fam Series – Charlie O’Shea

Posted on July 9, 2010 by MAL

Charlie O’Shea is my “Father of the West Coast.” When I moved to California for college at 18, I didn’t know anyone 3,000 miles from my home. I vaguely remembered Charlie being around when I was a child, on the family ski trips and out in Baltimore, but it wasn’t until I moved to Los Angeles that I truly got to know him. He took me in and helped me out, gave me a shoulder to lean on, offered me a home away from home in Long Beach and was always there to listen when I was having problems – and being 18 in Los Angeles, I had many of those!

I’ve always been so grateful for him because I’m not sure how I would have survived for so long in California had it not been for him, and so humbled by his willingness to take in a friend’s daughter as his own. That’s how I feel, like he views me just as he would had I been his own daughter.

Without further ado, I present to you – Charlie O’Shea. Read up. He has a lot of great stories to offer (I love how he met his wife, how he overcame fatness and cancer…)

1. You own your own IT business. What are the best things about working for yourself? Worst?

The best thing about working for myself is setting my own hours. The worst thing about working for myself is remembering to stop working. As we work from home it is easy to get distracted with what I’m doing and not realize what time it has gotten to.

2. I know that O’Shea doesn’t come from your biological father. Can you tell us where it comes from?

This is one of the answers I warned you about. It isn’t to complicated but can be longwinded. My mother who bore me and my sister Dina was married to Phil Poland, a dentist in Limewood, NJ. So my name at birth was Charles J. Poland. My mother met my stepfather while in a TB sanatorium in about 1954 in Colorado. When my mother was released from the sanatorium she returned to NJ for several months until the school year was over. She then left NJ to be with my stepdad Jerry (Malcolm Jerome) O’Shea.

They were married at the end of the year – December 4 to be exact which is why Eileen and I got married on December 4. Until I was about 10 I went by Charles Poland. That summer my parents and almost everyone in the neighborhood joined a new swimming pool that had membership cards and mine and my sister’s both had O’Shea as the last name – that’s when I started using O’Shea. When I turned 16 and wanted a driver’s license it became a bigger official deal, so both my sister and I had our last name legally changed to O’Shea.

3. Although we’re not related, we have a very strong bond. How did you meet my mom and come to be a part of our lives? (Obviously I know this, but for the reader’s)

OK, for the readers. In about 1980 I had been hired by a company called Display Data. They built and sold computers to auto dealers and beverage producers/suppliers like Coke of San Antonio and Huston Distributing who sell Miller beer. Very soon after I was hired in Denver I was transferred to the training department in Huntsville Maryland. I was having lunch on day when I noticed this REALLY good looking women in the restaurant in the building. We ended up having lunch together. I found out that she grew up in the Towson area and had just recently moved back to Maryland from Florida and she was separated and had two daughters. We hit it off right away and dated for a short time. The one thing we both learned while dating was that we really LIKED each other but there wasn’t anything more going on and we became really good friends. Oh, and I absolutely loved her daughters.

4. You and Eileen’s love story is a bit of a fairy tale. Tell my lovely readers all about how it happened and make it gushy!

I don’t think I’m a very gushy guy, but here goes. We first met in Griffith Park located in Los Angeles. A mutual friend had invited Eileen to come to the park for our weekly Tuesday evening run. She was getting ready for a bike trip in Montana and Canada and wanted to get in better shape. When I was first introduced I thought she was a nice looking woman but way too young for me. I was 55 at the time and I figured her for no more than 35 and maybe younger. (I’d already tried that route once and was not about to go down that path).

After a few weeks of Eileen showing up on Tuesday evenings I was becoming intrigued. She was nice, smart, attractive: all things I liked. Then there came an evening where she was doing something else. Another mutual friend was there who worked with Eileen. I asked her how old Eileen really was and she didn’t know either and guessed about the same as I did. I also asked if Eileen was serious about anyone. She didn’t know the answer to that either but said she would find out, and she did. She told me Eileen was not seeing anyone and the age thing was not an issue, at least for Eileen. This was in the fall of 2000.

We started emailing and would bike or run on the weekends with other friends. In December I finally asked her out to my office Christmas party. On the day of the party she called and said she was sick. As this was our first official date I did wonder if she was just looking for an easy way out, but she followed up with some really nice emails and a sincere apology. So I asked her out again.

Due to complicated family issues in Eileen’s life (buying a house, family illnesses and deaths) it was mid-summer of 2001 before we really hooked up, going to movies, dinner, and generally getting serious and I was really liking this relationship even though I eventually found out she was 10 years younger and had never been married (I had been through two, the last one being almost 20 years behind me). She was happy just dating me but we finally had “the talk” where I explained I had a lot of “friends” and didn’t need any more, and I wanted something that might lead to marriage. We talked about moving in together and made plans to do so.

Now call me old-fashioned but I’ve never “lived” with anyone. I’ve had roommates but that was exactly what they were. So on February 14 of 2002 I took Eileen out to dinner in Santa Monica and went for a walk on the bluffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean and I asked her to marry me. Her response (this is debated to this day) was, “I’ll think about it”. She thinks she said, “Eventually.” Unless there is a tape we will never know. With as much commitment as I could get out of Eileen we moved in together in March. Then in early summer Eileen out of the blue said, “Okay.” When I asked “Okay what?” she said, “I’ll marry you.”

(Side Note from Meagan: I love this story, and it’s even funnier when they tell it together. Eileen normally gets embarrassed, but they both laugh at her unsure answer. I think we all know that she is definitely sure now.)

5. You’re a marathon runner. What keeps you motivated to keep going back for more? What made you start in the first place?

What made me start in the first place is a more interesting question. It goes back to marriage number two. Actually the end of the marriage.

On her last day in our apartment we were having a big argument and she up and said she was leaving. But before she left she had a few parting shots. She said, “You have gotten fat and lazy. All you do is sit around and watch TV. You haven’t read a book in years and you couldn’t run around the block if you had to!”

So the next morning, I went out to run around the block and didn’t make it. When I got back I turned off the TV (unplugged it) and went to work. Every morning I got up before work and ran as far as I could. In a couple of weeks I did make it around the block. Then I started on two blocks and just kept going. By May I decided to enter my first race, the Constellation 10K. The first 3 miles were uphill and then 3 miles back down. I figured I could run the first 3 and walk the second three. As it turned out I felt so good at the top of the hill I ran to the finish.

What keeps me motived after 28 years of running is the feeling it gives me. I feel in control of my life. There are some great side effects too: you meet some really great people who like to exercise, it is a healthy lifestyle, and you get to eat more.

6. Even after fighting cancer, you went on to run the Paris Marathon. How much harder was it to get started running after chemo? What is the biggest thing you realized after cancer, would you say? (If that’s even possible to summarize at all!)

While fighting cancer, as I said in the last answer, when I run I feel I have some control. Cancer was shit. I don’t recommend it for anyone. And you can definitely say the cure is worse the disease.

So the last thing I did before starting chemo was to run a half marathon. My chemo sessions were every three weeks. After the first session I thought this will be a piece of cake. What I didn’t understand then was chemo is cumulative. By the third session I was toast. Running was out of the question. But I made myself get up and walk everyday. At a minimum 3 miles. They were very slow miles.

By the end of chemo I was tired of the whole thing and really ready for it to end. This was the end of March 2009. I was out of shape and completely exhausted and beaten down. My sister and her husband were coming out to California to visit and there was a half marathon up in Solvang. Eileen, my sister, and her husband were all going to run. So I signed up and planned on walking the first 7 miles and then get a ride to the finish. But I got to 7 miles and there was this woman in front of me, bent over, walking/running her heart out and she kept going so I did too.

Eileen called me on the cell I was carrying, as they expected me to be at the finish before them. When I said I was at mile 10 and thought it would take me another 45 minutes to finish. When I came down the final stretch, running the best I could, Eileen, my sister, her husband, and I all had tears in our eyes. It was one of the most inspirational runs for me in my whole life. So after that run (about 3 weeks post chemo) Eileen decided I needed a carrot to kickstart my training again and suggested we run the Paris Marathon. It wasn’t my fastest run ever, but it was a lot of fun!

As to the biggest thing I learned, I think it is what everyone with a life threatening illness learns: life is precious, don’t waste time on things you cannot control. Obviously you have to look to the future but don’t forget to live in the present.

7. Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years?

In five years I hope to be even more semi retired than I already am. Spend more time doing things I want like vacation, running, taking photos, and reading. I’ve had a dream about starting a company that records people’s memories. The older I get the more interesting I find everyone. It seems to me everyone has a story to share and I think it is a shame when we die and the story goes silent.

In ten years, hopefully more of the same and by then I should start placing in my age group at races

8. Biggest life lesson?

The way I see it, it is be the very best person I can be. We’ve all heard variations of this, like “do unto others,” or Bill and Ted’s, “Be excellent to each other”. And even better to “pay it forward,” just do something for someone with no expectation of anything in return. What a great idea!

9. Anything else you’d like to add?

As if I haven’t said enough already! But I will say thanks for giving me a chance to add to your collection of tales.

THANK YOU, CHARLIE!

“Interview With Fam” Series – Aunt Donna

Posted on February 3, 2010 by MAL

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As some of you know, following up to Christmas, I had a series called “Interview with the Fam.” Well, since I wasn’t able to get everyone in my family interviewed on time, I will now be doing an interview a month until I run out of family members (that may take a while). The thing I’ve found most fascinating about these little interviews is how much (embarrassingly) I don’t know about my own family. Plus, it inspires me on so many levels – I learn more about my own self, and am reminded of how much you can learn from your own backyard.

Without any further ado, I present to you Aunt Donna!

Between freshman, sophomore and junior years in college (university), I came back to Baltimore for the summers. My Aunt owns a cleaning business, and she kindly hired me to help out. I have never met a woman who works harder than she does (and therefore inspires her employees to work harder!). She is a great mother of two children – Becky and Sam. She took me to my first music concert, and I’m not talking classical piano here, I’m talking PHISH I’ll never forget it. Me at 13 years old sporting her old tie dye tshirt. She was the cool Aunt. I went back to Phish concerts twice when in college. She basically rocks all the way around.

1. Please give us all a brief introduction of who Mrs. Donna Rader is.

Hi, my name is Donna Rader. I was born on March 27, 1963. I live in Baltimore, Md. along with my husband Larry, daughter Becky, 3 dogs, and 1 cat.

2. Being the youngest by far amongst four siblings must have been great in some ways and tough in others. What was it like to be the baby in your family? Do you think its helped shaped you in any ways as an adult?

I am the youngest sibling, with 2 older brothers, and a sister who is the oldest. My memories of being the youngest aren’t very good. I remember being teased all the time, their favorite thing to do to me was to call me; BABY, BABY, BABY. I would scream. No Help At All!!! As an adult however, there have been great times, and then not such great times. Overall, now I am very glad to have all the support of my sister and brothers.

3. As far as I know you’ve always lived in or around the Baltimore area. (Correct me if I’m wrong!) What is your favorite thing about living in Baltimore? What do you like the least?

I was born and raised in Baltimore, Md. However, I have not always lived here. In 1983, I went to visit my brother in New Mexico after his spinal injuries. I ended up staying for about 9-10 months. In 1986, I moved to Melbourne Florida, and had a relationship with Rich Tyree, got married for the first time in 1988, and my first child was born in Feb. 1989 in Melbourne Florida. I moved back to Baltimore in 1999. The thing I like the best about Baltimore is the fact that everything is so familiar to me – friends, family, memories. The thing I dislike about Baltimore the most is the weather.

4. Being an entrepreneur and owning your own business, what’s the best thing about being self-run? What is the toughest aspect of it? AND 5. Are there any other types of businesses you’d like to start up before you retire? What would your dream career be?

I own and run my own housecleaning business, called “Cleanability”, kinda catchy don’t ya think? I started the business back in 1995 or so because I needed to be very flexible for my young children since I was a single parent. Since that time, my business has grown, and I have had several employees through the years. It has been great working for myself, and having that kind of flexibility in my life. I look back to when I worked for “Corporate America”, and I think that I could never ever work for someone else again. “NEVER”. I have become very spoiled due to working for myself.

Now please don’t get me wrong, I have worked very hard at this business. It has had it’s great times and also it’s bad times. Housecleaning has taken it’s toll on me physically. In the future, I plan on possibly increasing my clientele and hiring people to work it for me. This is something that my husband told me he has wanted me to do for a long time. Don’t know why he waited so long to tell me that!!! MEN!!!!

I am giving thought as to what I think my dream job could or would have been in life, and I think I have to say that it may have something to do with animals. I love all animals very much..

Sorry Meg, just realized I answered #5 in #4. (No problem, I put them both in!)

6. Tell me something I don’t know about my wonderful Aunt Donna!

Things you probably don’t know about me are: That I’ve lived in 2 other states, besides Maryland. Maybe you don’t know that I used to be a Deadhead. I love to travel. I love my dogs!!! I’m really racking my brain right now, I have no idea “what you don’t know about me”. I also like to sew, and have made most of the curtains in my house. (I didn’t know the moving bit or the sewing part! I love that you were a Deadhead.)

7. Finally, what are your top two greatest memories thus far in your life? Why?

Last but not Least!!!! One of my favorite memories is of visiting Hawaii in April 1999. It is the most beautiful place on this planet, (in my opionon). Larry and I had the best time there on our honeymoon. Other great memories, hhmmm thinking!!!!! Here’s one!! June 2007, Becky graduated from High School, that was a really accomplishment for her, so it made me feel elated to see her accomplish that. In life, I’ve had many, many good memories. Too many to list probably. I look forward to making more lasting memories throughout the years to come. Who knows what they may be.

(She makes me proud to have an Aunt like her. )

Thanks, and I’m a Paid Writer!

Posted on January 2, 2010 by MAL

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I wanted to say a special thank you to my family members who partook in the “Interview with Fam” series. It was especially great for me because I got to learn more about the ones who bear the same blood, and it was so nice to be able to share this weird world of blogging with you all.

For those I may have missed, I simply ran out of time leading up to Christmas, but will definitely do this again at some point!

On another note, I have two new articles up at AND Magazine. Please take a look and peruse the site. I’m really proud of the layout and how they’ve done it. Let me know what you think! Plus, I’m getting paid for writing for them now. I’m officially a professional writer then, right?

“Interview with Fam” Series – Uncle Bobby Vennes

Posted on December 26, 2009 by MAL

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My Uncle is one of the most generous men I know.

Once I moved to California, he was the only blood relative closer than a few hours away and so in my adult years, we became very close. His house in Las Vegas was a much needed escape, and a welcome warm place to stay when going there for the weekend with friends or Thanksgiving when I couldn’t make the trek back to the east coast. He would often take me to restaurants and shows I could have only dreamt of going to whilst studying. Indulgent dinners at the kitchen table with Emeril Lagasse greeting us and tasting the bottle of wine he brought, Country Club meals, Cirque du Soleil shows with VIP treatment, and gorgeous sceneries at Zion National Park and Red Rock State Park.

A few years after, when I was living in Paris, we met up in Munich for Oktoberfest, Prague and Dachau. Me, being a poor college student got my trip paid for by my amazing Uncle. He also bought me the much-needed backpack that every young American needs whilst traveling around Europe.

I’m sure he would hate the fact that I’m boasting about him right now. He remains humble and remembers where he comes from. He’s my Uncle Bobbers – Meet Bobby Vennes!

1. Tell us five characteristics of yourself for an introduction.

I am a 52 year old single, professional business man and have been living in Las Vegas for almost 14 years. I enjoy golf, food and wine, fishing, travel, and a variety of other things. I feel blessed in many ways with great family and friends.

2. What are your plans for Christmas and the New Year?

This year I will be spending Christmas at home. I have been invited to numerous family’s dinners and will visit a few. I will golf a little and catch up on some things around the house, exercise and watch some football. While we have some of the best fireworks in the world (I am told) I am not a big New Year’s Eve person. I will go to the Country Club early, visit with friends and come home by 8 or so.

3. The general opinion of living in Las Vegas is one of chaos, late nights, and lots of tourists. How do you keep a level head while living and working there? Has that changed over the years?

Las Vegas certainly has all you have said and lots more I am sure. I came to Vegas unexpectedly. I have worked for Boston Scientific Corporation for over 20 years. It is a manufacturer and developer of Minimally Invasive medical devices and has grown tremendously over the years. Part of that growth has required consolidation of acquired companies. In 1995 I had to interview to keep my job in San Diego. Good news- I still had a job, bad news- no longer in San Diego. I was offered Las Vegas and said yes.

Las Vegas had a reputation for many things including Mafia, Buffets, Shows, Unions, Gambling Sex and much more. Just before I moved here, the city was in a transformation. The city needed to change its image and started to become more geared toward a family vacation destination. The mafia presence disappeared on the surface. Water Parks were built and the shows and restaurants started going to another level. With this growth were jobs, many jobs. It became the fastest growing city in the US. Previously it was San Diego in the mid 80′s and early 90′s. This is a sales persons dream. It is easier to grow the business in a growing town.

The great restaurants and shows allowed me to entertain my clients often getting special treatment. Living here is no different that anywhere else, except the Strip is only 10 minutes away. The truth is I don’t go much unless someone is visiting or I am entertaining. I am glad I never had an inclination to gamble. I am the worst ( I didn’t get Mommy’s good luck!) so I am not one to do it except for the NFL football wagers. Work and a relatively busy personal life have helped me keep a level head.

4. Seems our family has a few people who enjoy traveling and learning about other cultures. What is your fascination with traveling? Why have you continued to do it?

I took my first flight as a Senior in college. I represented our school at an academic competition at Harvard University which we won. It was exciting! I took a year off after graduating to see the United States. I spent a ski season in Vail, Colorado then went west to Wyoming and California. I knew I wanted to travel abroad but decided to see our country first. I ended up traveling with my career jobs and earned lots of miles. Through out the years I have used those miles to get free airline tickets. I started to travel somewhere once or twice a year, usually abroad. I found it fascinating visiting different cultures, histories and experiencing different religions and cuisines. I continue to do it because I enjoy it. I have learned people are all very similar underneath. We all want to be comfortable, loved and feel a sense of accomplishment.

5. How did you come up with the idea for the traveling Santa Claus postcard you send out every year? How long have you been doing it now?

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The idea for the annual Santa Christmas card started when I first moved to San Diego. Sometime in the fall of 1983, I was talked into skydiving. The plane snapped a photo of the leap of faith for each of us. I happened to be in an all red jumpsuit with a red helmet with a white V on the front. I thought I would send that photo to my parents at Christmas that year to show their son had moved to California and completely lost it. I took it to the photo shop and the girl told me it would make a great holiday greeting card. I took her up on it and have continued the tradition for 26 years now. It has been a lot of fun.

6. You’ve already accomplished so much in your life – including making it to the Olympics, working for Fortune 500 companies, being named Director of the Las Vegas Country Club, traveling the world, mingling with the famous (and I’m sure many more things I don’t know about…) Is there another obstacle you’d still like to tackle? Do you have future goals for yourself?

Actually I did not make it to the Olympics due to getting injured practicing with the team in 1984 a month before the games. Also I am not the Director of the Board at LVCC but rather a member of the Board of Directors. Regardless, I feel fortunate to have accomplished these and other things. I am currently in the process of becoming a winemaker for the 3rd year. The first 2 years turned out pretty good. I wanted great!

This next year we are bottling what I think will be great wine. I am really not sure what I will try to tackle next.

7. Getting even close to the Olympics is what every competitive athlete aims for, and working for Fortune 500 companies is what every business person hopes to achieve. What kind of mentality do you need to have in order to make it to the top? How would you compare it to life?

I love the story I once read published by a Rabbi. He wondered why some young people who are highly successful in their high school years (athletically, academically…) . Their success seemed to come easy. For some unknown reason they never went on to become anything more that average. (I am sure you all know one of those people.) Others who were only average in high school went on to achieve great things. The common thread with the successful high school folks that never went on was how they first faced adversity. Seems that some of those who are a big fish in a small pond encounter a fish just as big or bigger decide to run. Others decide to win.

For me I was fortunate enough to have powerful role models in my Mother and Father which gave me the values to be a fighter, even against seemingly impossible odds. For me sports taught me so many valuable lessons for life. I was told by my coach of my Division 3 school I would never be anything but a big fish in a small pond when I announced I was going to a Division 1 collage. That is when I decided I would show him. It gave me a drive to go on to a level I never dreamed of achieving. I encountered a similar situation when I interviewed with Mobil Oil Corp.(#2 on Fortune 500 at the time). I was told I was fortunate to be granted an interview as they are very selective. I was told they hired 1 out of 500 interviewed. I got the job!! So that is the mentality it takes to get to the top. It has a very good correlation to life I think. Well enough about me.

8. Finally, tell us your favorite joke!

What did the Doe say as she came staggering out of the woods? I’ll never do that for 2 Bucks again!!

“Interview with Fam” Series – Judy Vennes (aka Momma)

Posted on December 16, 2009 by MAL

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My mom.

She is an incredible woman who has taken many different paths, sometimes the hard way and sometimes the easy way, but she always seems to come back stronger than ever. She raised my sister and I in Baltimore, MD (amongst a few other places), and did an unbelievable job. We were never uncertain as to whether she loved us or would be there for us.

She is a searcher, and whenever she finds inspiration, she makes sure to send it our way.

She’s the best woman I know. But I’m a bit biased. She’s my mommy.

Here is her version. Enjoy!

1. Where did you grow up and when?

“I grew up in the suburbs of Baltimore in a middle/upper middle class area in the 1950’s and 1960’s. It was an era of “baby boomers,” kids who were born of parents who had lived through World War II and the Korean War. It was the beginning of suburban living in neighborhoods of mostly tract housing. I lived in the town of Timonium for the first 8 years of my life and then we moved to Lutherville into a home that my father and grandfather built together on the corner of York Road and Haddington Road. My father was a professional photographer and he built the home on York Road because it is a major thoroughfare and the intention was that it would be good for his business to have a commercial location on the edge of a residential neighborhood so that we could have the best of both worlds, a combination business/home building . I don’t think he or my mother thought about the constant noise of traffic or the dirt it would produce inside the home, but it was home to my parents, two brothers, sister, me and my paternal grandparents during the summer months as they escaped the Florida heat for the summer.”

2. You’ve had many careers in your lifetime. What spurs you on to keep recreating yourself in business as you do?

“Great question! One that I have asked myself many times. I think because my father was an entrepreneur for as long as I can remember and always had his own business, he modeled for me the concept of being my own boss. I guess the bottom line is that I keep searching for a career where I feel that I can not only make a contribution but also be able to pursue something that I am passionate about. Ah, my life quandary, I believe! When I began working after high school, I fell into the insurance industry. I went to work for a local insurance agency and within the first year I had studied for and passed my property and casualty insurance license so that I could be promoted within the agency. I stayed in the insurance industry with several other agencies over the course of the next five years. It was mundane work and I knew that I would not stay in this industry for very long. The predominant portion of my working years has been office/administrative even though I was never really happy with any of those jobs. Secretarial skills are what I learned in high school, so it was what I did.

When I decided to become a custom picture framer, it was at a time of my life when I knew I would have to become independent again because my marriage at the time was failing and I knew I didn’t want to go back to office work. So, I found a custom picture framing school, learned how to frame and then opened my own business which I ran for about 10 years. It was fulfilling because I was able to take a piece of art and enhance its beauty by matting and framing it. I used my hands and my creativity which made me happy.”

3. What made you decide to enter healing as a profession?

“After so many years in the corporate/business arena and feeling unfulfilled, I knew I needed another story. Then I attended the Hoffman Process in 2003. Everything changed for me after that experience. I reconnected with Spirit, remembered why I was here and knew that whatever my chosen field was going to be, it would be helping people. I began seeing an acupuncturist, who is also a Hoffman graduate, and I had great experiences during our sessions and I loved the whole process of our sessions.

“I decided that I would finally declare a college major since I had begun taking a few classes in 2001 and accelerate my studies by becoming a full-time student so that I could more quickly become an acupuncturist because I needed to complete my bachelor’s degree and then on to acupuncture school. Along the way, I realized that I could incorporate a massage therapy degree and begin to practice sooner rather than later in the healing arts as a massage therapist while continuing on towards my master’s in acupuncture. But somewhere along the way, I decided that if I loved massage that I would give myself permission to stop and pursue that career. And that is exactly what happened.

“I loved massage and am now beginning to pursue a full-time career in that field. Again, I am using my hands in this career, and also my intuition and knowledge of the body and creating a style that is my own.”

4. You decided to go back and get a University degree recently. What made you decide to do that and since receiving it, does it feel any different?

“It was a lifelong dream of mine to be able to go to college and obtain my bachelor’s degree because I was told that the only reason to go to college was to find a husband, so I wasn’t exactly groomed to head in that direction after high school. Once both of my daughters were raised and attending college themselves, I thought that that would be the time for me to get the rust out of my mind and head off to college and take some classes, still not knowing what I wanted to study. I knew I liked art and had always wanted to see what medium of art would resonate with me so I decided to take one general studies class and one art class each semester.

“After a few years of attending college on a part-time basis, I then had the goal of fulfilling my bachelor requirements much more quickly as I stated above. Since receiving my double AA degree this past May, one of which was my massage therapy degree, I have stopped attending classes but expect to finish sometime in the future. It feels really good to have finished at least my AA degree but I now do not feel compelled at this point to go and finish my bachelor’s degree; although I know I will graduate with that degree sometime in the future.

“I now know that I can complete anything I set out to do and that is the biggest, most fulfilling lesson that I learned. I had never really completed anything like that before in my life and the fact that it had been something I had wanted to do all my life and then was able to realize that dream was an amazing feeling.”

5. You’ve had both your children move out of the country at some point. Was this something you’ve ever considered doing?

“No, it isn’t. I have never considered moving out of the country as a conscious thought, but I have always believed that if the opportunity presented itself, anything is possible. As much as I love to travel and explore different countries and cultures, I have never thought about moving to another country, other than maybe Canada some day since it was just brought to me attention that I qualify to be a Canadian citizen since my father was born in Montreal, Canada. So, I am pursuing that option at the moment but have no concrete plans to move there. I think what would ultimately keep me from moving to Canada would be the winters. BRRRRRRR!!!”

6. What’s it like to be single and in your 50′s? Any advice you’d like to give other women who are single and your age?

“I truly believe that the 50’s are the best years of my life so far. These years have been about knowing myself, trusting myself and not depending on a man to take care of me for the first time in my life. That is not to diminish however for even one minute the years of childbirth and raising my two beautiful daughters!! The only advice I can offer to other single women in their 50’s would be to not settle for less than you deserve, not to take yourself seriously and not to take anything personally. When you can let go of expectations and outcomes, life is so much easier and less stressful.”

But then, that could be advice for anyone at any age!

7. If you could leave one legacy or lesson about life, what would it be?

“To love unconditionally, live from your heart and to be joyful as often as possible. To live in the present moment as often as you can remember to and remember that when you are present, everything is perfect. I have been very blessed with many lessons throughout my journey and as the years pass I realize there is not too much we need to be happy.

The other lesson I have learned is that if we can remember that we are one – one with each other, one with nature, one with Great Spirit – it is that connectedness that allows us to love unconditionally.”

Thanks, Meggers, for allowing me the forum to express this to you and anyone else who wishes to read this. Namaste.