Tag Archives: life

Living Life and Sidelining Thinking

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It’s amazing how quickly deep thoughts dissipate as soon as things begin to get busy. As a lady who lunches, I had all the time in the world to ponder humankind’s most intricate details, sweeping myself away with notions of – well, with just notions in general. I can’t even remember what kind of notions I mused upon. It seems so far gone – those days of sipping Lahloo tea in England, waking up at 9 in the morning or not at all, jogging on the Downs and penning my novel that is sinking its 100,000 word paper cuts into American literary agents fingers as we speak.

It doesn’t feel so far gone that I can’t imagine going back there. No, that’s not true at all. One day, I’m sure I will go back there – but I will never go back there under those same circumstances and for that I am two things – 1. Grateful and 2. Pleased I got to experience what I did when I did, but I will never wish I could go back.

That time period of my life is over.

I am invigorated with what life has to offer me right now. I am not, however, pleased for poor Jock who has to sit home in our tiny studio apartment with his leg up because he has torn ligaments in both ankle and knee. That I am not invigorated by. I hope he gets better soon.

But at least the Bloke Who Brunches has a woman who can officially say she’s employed! In three jobs! (more on that in a few)

The reason I have been so negligent to my blog – the blog that gave me sustenance for nearly 18 months – my excuse is my new life. My new job. My new city.

While all of these things should ignite the creativity and make words flow, they are doing the opposite. I can’t think of anything to say that doesn’t have to do with – “OK, so I responded to that email, the dishes are done, God, I really want that peacoat, I need to paint my fingernails a cool color so that when I’m typing at work they look professional, did I call my Grandmother? I wonder if that book club will mind if I make notes and bring them to the meeting, did that bum just tell me I should ‘work it’? why is the weather still so warm?”

You get the picture. Being in my own country, I find it hard to find anything interesting to speak about besides my daily routine – and I don’t think hard enough about that topic to lend any interest to the public. I wish I could. I wish I could make that seem fascinating like the greatest writers of our time. But the truth is, if I don’t find it compelling, then certainly no one else will.

I almost wish I didn’t adapt so quickly back into the culture because then I could reiterate what it is I am feeling.

I’m not really feeling. But in a good way.

I’m not waxing nostalgic at all. I’m not philosophizing. I’m not curious.

I’m just happy being busy. Am I making any sense?

I’m enjoying my busy life – while I run from my job as a Staffing Supervisor (yes, you heard me correctly) to my job as the Social Media Director to giving out free shots of Guinness at bars during my job as a “Promotional Model.” Then back to Jock where we idly chitchat about nothing in particular but everything of interest to us.

OK, let me pause before I go any further. I am officially working full time as a person who finds other people full time jobs. How ironic is that!?  (On top of my other jobs). And, I’m loving it. I will dedicate a blog post to my new job at some point (and how I got it, how it turned out, etc.)

In the meantime, this is just to say that: “Excuse me while I live my life for a while and don’t think too hard about it.”

And I would also like to say Congratulations to Baltimore for handing out their first Trans Fat Citation. On their way to fighting obesity $100 at a time.

A Change is as Good as a Rest

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It’s easy to look back on this year when someone asks how it went and say “Yeah, it has been fantastic. Ups and downs but fantastic.” Quick. Simple and two sentences. That’s what normally comes out. Sometimes I’ll do a bit of testing to see if they really want to hear how it was or if they are satisfied with the answer. Normally I get the satisfied look because I’ve summed up in two sentences that for the most part I had a great time, didn’t get hurt and can live to tell about it and also may have had some down bits, but that’s life, right?

It’s just that the year was so much more than that. It’s like when you go traveling for a long time and you get back to home, and you’ve experienced so much and have so much to say about it, but most people don’t want to hear it. They say they do, but they really don’t. And I don’t blame them because in the end it was your own experience, it wasn’t theirs. How can they really relate to what you’ve been doing when their life has been so vastly different. They would prefer you to pick back up where you left off and leave it at that. Plus, there’s more to it than that. Perhaps they were upset you left them there and hold a bit of resentment. Perhaps they don’t want to hear because it’s simply not something that interests them or they can even imagine. Perhaps they really want to know about it but seem to think you don’t want to talk about it. Who knows?

This has come up because I recently had an option to go back home early. I’m supposed to leave in August, but Jock and I spoke about me returning this month for various reasons – mostly financial and me missing family and friends. Once I truly thought how it would be to go back to the states, I changed my mind. Not because I don’t want to come home, because in all honesty, there is a big part of me that can not wait. But mostly because I feel like my English adventure isn’t over yet. I have just completed my novel (I ecstatically jump up and down) and am now getting paid to write for an online magazine. Life is happening here and I’m happy. I want to see my friends and family, but I want to complete the adventure I started.

It’s hard to explain all I’ve been through this past year. At times I’ve felt extremely isolated and rejected. At other times extremely welcome and finally at peace with being a foreigner. There have been other times where I’ve felt as free as a bird and other times sheltered and like a prisoner in this country (for reasons I can not explain at this precise moment but will one day come out). Over all, to put my whole experience in one sentence would be a complete injustice. I’m proud to be here and so lucky. I have had chances that other people would only dream of. On the other side dating a person from a different country bears consequences you would never imagine getting into it. On the whole, it has been an experience I would never dream of getting rid of.

We are moving from our house at the end of the month. For that I am excited for as a good friend recently said to me, “a change is as good as a rest.” What happens in the next six months will be an adventure, and for that, I am grateful.