“Interviews with Fam” – Daddy Lopez

Posted on December 4, 2009 by MAL

Carlos Lopez is my Dad. He was born in Sancti Spiritus, Cuba either on April 26th or sometime in November, 1951. There was some dispute about this matter some years ago.

He now resides in Guadalajara, Mexico with his girlfriend Karina. This is him as a Marine looking very cool. My friends call him the Cuban George Clooney. I call him Daddy.

1. What was it like to leave Cuba when you left? What were the circumstances surrounding your leaving and how did it come about?
I WAS 10 YEARS OLD, SO, IT WAS STRANGE AND DISORIENTING. I REMEMBER THE DATE WE LEFT, IT WAS JUNE 13TH, 1961 AND CASTRO HAD BEEN IN POWER SINCE 1959. I WAS ALREADY STARTING TO BELIEVE THE COMUNIST PROPAGANDA AND THAT THE U.S. WAS AN EVIL POWER, SO I WAS NOT VERY HAPPY WHEN MY MOM TOLD ME WE WHERE GOING TO VISIT MY AUNT JUANITA IN THE STATES. IT WAS NOT UNTIL MANY YEARS LATER THAT I FOUND OUT THAT MY MOM AND DAD HAD SEPARATED AND SHE WAS ACTUALLY FOLLOWING HER BOYFRIEND TO NEW YORK TO START A NEW LIFE. SILLY ME!

2. What were your first couple of years like in America? How did you adjust?
IT WAS HORRIBLE. REMEMBER THAT I WAS AN ONLY CHILD AND SPOILED. WE MOVED TO NYC AND MY MOM HAD TO GO TO WORK IMMEDIATELY, SO I WAS LEFT ALONE AT THE AGE OF TEN FROM MORNING TILL MY MOM ARRIVED FROM WORK AT 7PM, EVERYDAY. I WAS SHY AND AFRAID ALL THE TIME, DID NOT SPEAK THE LANGUAGE AND LIVED IN AN ITALIAN/IRISH/GERMAN NEIGHBORHOOD, SO, BEATINGS WERE FREQUENT. IT TOOK A COUPLE OF YEARS TO START HITTING BACK, BUT ONE LEARNS. LOOKING BACK, I WOULD NOT CHANGE A THING, BECAUSE IT’S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT WHAT DOES NOT KILL YOU, MAKES YOU STRONGER, NIETSCHE, I THINK.

3. When did you finally start feeling American? Did you ever?
GREAT QUESTION, NOT SO SIMPLE TO ANSWER. THE U.S. SCHOOL SYSTEM IS JUST AS GREAT AT PROPOGANDA AS WAS CASTRO’S DICTATORSHIP. IT IS SINGLEMINDEDLY DESIGNED TO PRODUCE GOOD, OBEDIENT, UNQUESTIONING CITIZENS. THAT’S WHY WE CAN CONTINUE TO ELECT PEOPLE LIKE GW BUSH. TO THAT END, IT FAILED MISERABLY WITH ME, SORT OF LIKE RELIGION, ACTUALLY. HOWEVER, THE AMERICAN STORY IS HARD TO DISMISS AND NOT FEEL SOME PRIDE IN HAVING A GROUP OF HIGHLY DISFUNCTIONAL, UNWANTED PEOPLE COME TOGETHER AND CREATE SUCH A COUNTRY, OF THAT, I AM PROUD.

4. Why did you choose to move to Mexico to live?
IF YOU EVER REALLY THINK YOU GET TO CHOOSE EVERYTHING IN LIFE, YOU’RE IN FOR A SAD AWAKENING. I DIDN’T CHOOSE, MEAGAN, I CHASED THE MONEY. I WAS MADE AN OFFER I COULDNT REFUSE, AS GRANDPA HARRY WOULD SAY, AND WHEN I TRY TO PULL OUT, THEY PULL ME BACK IN, AS THE GODFATHER WOULD SAY. NOW THAT I’M HERE, I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I ENJOY THE FREEDOM OF NOT HAVING GREEN, ORANGE, YELLOW, AND RED ALERTS FLASHED AT ME ALL THE TIME AS THEY DO IN THE STATES. ACTUALLY, I DON’T EVER RECALL A GREEN ALERT. I WONDER IF PEOPLE IN THE STATES ARE ACTUALLY AWARE OF THE CONSTANT FEAR LAVISHED ON THEM BY OUR OWN GOVERNMENT AND NEWS AGENCIES. THAT’S HOW IT ALWAYS BEGINS, PEOPLE USUALLY DESERVE THE GOVERNMENT THEY HAVE.

5. Do you think you’ve become accustomed to always being “the foreigner” in some way? How has that shaped your life?
NO, I NEVER FELT LIKE THAT. I ALWAYS FELT THAT I BELONGED NO MATTER WHERE I WAS. THAT WAS OBVIOUSLY SHAPED BY MY EARLY YOUTH, YOU ADJUST. JUST REMEMBER HOW MANY TIMES I’VE MOVED.

6. What gives you the most pleasure out of life? Has that changed over the years?
I KNOW IT SOUNDS CORNY, BUT SEEING HOW YOU KID’S ARE HANDLING YOUR LIVES AND HOW PROUD I AM OF ALL OF YOU GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE. THAT’S ALWAYS BEEN A CONSTANT. OH, OF COURSE, THERE IS GOLF, READING AND WAKING UP IN THE MORNING, BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT.

7. And, finally, what would you like your children to learn from your mistakes? A piece of advice.
WHAT MISTAKES? I’VE MADE NONE THAT I KNOW OF OR I’M ABLE TO CHANGE, SO THERE IS NO POINT IN DWELLING ON IT. THAT’S MY ADVICE, DO THE BEST YOU KNOW HOW AND LIFE WILL TAKE CARE OF THE REST. LOVE YOU TOOTS!

“Ladies Who…” and the Loner on the 4th

Posted on July 7, 2009 by MAL

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A Club for Sociable, Inquisitive Ladies

4 bottles of wine, 6 lovely ladies, 1 very pregnant-about-to-burst belly, loads of homemade chicken pasta, few deviled eggs American-style, strawberry and nectarine compote, 1 book decided upon, and 1 unexpected pop star death made for a rather interesting, and I’d even say exciting, first meeting. It was held at our house. Mingling went on for a good hour and a half before the hammer was struck and ideas were put on the table.

I had asked each guest to bring two ideas for a book they wanted to read. By the end, we had narrowed the twelve books down to three and came up with – duh duh duh – a LOVE STORY! Women and love – we just can’t get enough of it.

Thank you Lynette for bringing in the idea! Here it is, our first book:

*One Day, by David Nicholls
‘I can imagine you at forty,’ she said, a hint of malice in her voice. ‘I can picture it right now.’ He smiled without opening his eyes. ‘Go on then.’ 15th July 1988. Emma and Dexter meet for the first time on the night of their graduation. Tomorrow they must go their separate ways. So where will they be on this one day next year? And the year after that? And every year that follows? Twenty years, two people, ONE DAY.

Next Get Together -

The Loner on the 4th of July

I hadn’t really realized what it would feel like to be the only American on our day of Independence because, frankly, I had never been the only American on our day of Independence. So, therefore, never really had to think about it. I particularly enjoyed the irony of celebrating this joyous day with the very people we became independent from. I don’t think they really got the irony (and they say Americans don’t understand the word!), but it probably was because they weren’t particularly bothered one way or the other.

Bez

The 4th of July is another special day here in Bristol because it marks the birthday of Jock’s dear friend – Paul Beswick – also known as Bez.

And celebrate we did!

I also must brag a bit first. I have the best boyfriend in the world. No, really. I do.

I woke up on the morning of “O! say can you see” day to nine colorful balloons in red, white and blue around my bed. I was then showered with red, white and blue confetti, and a few minutes later my first breakfast was brought up to me: two doughnuts and a cup of coffee. Because as Jock says, this is a traditional American breakfast! I could only finish half of one of the doughnuts before feeling mildly sick, but trusty Jocko helped me out with the other doughnut and a half.

That’s not all! I stretched, put on my old lady robe, hobbled down the stairs to a box of pancakes and maple syrup! My second American breakfast! And guess what was for lunch?! Oreo cookies! So, yes I proved I have the best boyfriend in the world because he brings me tasty yet slightly fatty American foods.

On went the white trousers, blue top and big red earrings and shoes. (Unfortunately, the only American flag I had also had a Welsh flag attached to it – that didn’t make my English boyfriend very happy.) And off we went to Bez’ BBQ. Bez went out the night before. Bez got very drunk the night before. Bez was not at house at time of BBQ. Bez’s phone was turned off. He eventually showed up, and all was fine. Apparently Bez was a widdle bit sick.

So, although there were no fireworks, the English know how to throw a fourth of July party. And even though I was the only American, they made me feel welcome with providing me with hamburgers, beer and hot dogs. I even got some of them to sing our National Anthem! Can’t beat that.

Surprise!

Posted on June 10, 2009 by MAL

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Saturday – my mom’s graduation. The day of my unveiling. She basically almost pooped her pants when she saw me. I called out her name “Judy Judy” as she descended the stage after receiving her degree, and, with a blank stare on her face she waved vaguely in my direction – like Miss America being blinded by too many hard questions. I called again, “This way – Judy!” She briefly smiled until it came “Oh My God! What are you doing here?!!” she screamed. The arms fluttered up and down as if she were a bird being shot at, and she ran over to me enveloping me in her arms. We both got teary eyed, and I suddenly realized Uncle Bobby wanted me to take some pictures of her shocked reaction. I fumbled with the camera trying to sputter out “Act surprised – need picture” and got an extreme close up of her face instead – at least she was smiling wide. She then had to re-enter the queue to go back to her seat. She said she cried at her seat. Good job everyone who knew and kept the secret this time! It worked!

I have returned from the United States – barely. I know, I know. I never mentioned I was going to the United States in the first place. I went for about ten days – four of which I was in hiding at my sister’s house. My Uncle Bobby called me a couple of months ago to discuss a trip to Baltimore for my mother’s graduation from college at Community College of Baltimore County – Essex. He wanted it to be a surprise for her. The entire family has not been together in one room since before I was born, so I knew this would mean a lot to everyone.

Apparently, she found out about the surprise three weeks in. So, we double surprised her by telling her I could no longer come due to unforeseen circumstances. She admitted to knowing I was coming, and now was more upset that I couldn’t come. I felt bad, but it had to be done. She had to be tricked.

Surprise set in place.

Forward to May 26th when I landed in Baltimore.

It was so nice to be back to where I grew up. The longer I was there, the more I realized I hadn’t been back for a significant amount of time in nine years, and didn’t really know Baltimore anymore. Since I had to be conspicuous for four days before my mom’s graduation, I ran Lake Montebello around my sisters house, roamed through the haunted cobblestone Thames Street of Fells Point and took in the rancid smell of the dead fish killed by algae in the inner harbor. I was able to catch up with my Best Friend since I was 5 – Courtney! I also found out how popular soccer is in Baltimore when I tried to watch the Champions League Final at the Slainte Pub and realized I had no chance of fitting in that tiny bar. Luckily, Koopers Tavern next door was the secret spot to be – empty and with good food. I also applied for a UK Visa – we’ll come back to this bad idea later.

Thursday night Courtney took me out to dinner at Carrabba’s in Hunt Valley, MD. A nice chain restaurant that she had left over gift cards for. I forgot how big the portions are in America – and how good the service is! We really are spoiled.

Friday evening my Uncle took my sister and I out for crabs at Ocean Pride Restaurant – one of the staples of crab picking restaurants in Baltimore. My absolute favorite type of eating – picking apart the entire animal to get to the meat on the inside…slaving through the intestines, poop, and eyeballs are just a few of the things that tickle my fancy when eating crabs. Honestly, I love it. There is no other animal I would enjoy doing this to, but I always say “You aren’t a Baltimoron unless you know how to pick a crab, hon.” While Brayden, my nephew, banged on the table with his mallet and entertained the father next to us who kept saying ‘Oh, how he reminds me of my boy,’ and ‘he’s a handful, isn’t he?’ but at the end said ‘Well, now I can walk away. Just wait til he’s a teenager – that’ll be some trouble’ (we didn’t know whether to laugh or be insulted) – Uncle Bobby, my sister and I stuffed our faces with crab meat. Although, that’s the problem with crab – you work so hard to get to the meat that you end up working off all the calories you’re putting in.

I love my sister and my relationship now. It’s so easy with her, and we can just be. With a bit of knowledge that I am sounding completely cheesy, I have to say it – she’s the greatest sister any sister could ask for.

Monday we headed to Cape May – the WHOLE family. My mom, my two uncles Bobby and Jimmy, Jimmy’s girlfriend Kathy, my aunt Donna and her husband Larry, my sister Amanda and her son Brayden, my grandmother Lee, and my two cousins Becky and Sam with Becky’s boyfriend Sean. Little drama, lots of alcohol and good times had by all!

Bad idea this whole applying for a visitor Visa for longer than six months, I found out. I got refused entry. But now I am back in the UK for a bit until we figure out what’s next!

Oh, and thanks to Phil and Alison for letting us stay in their house back in February! We really enjoyed the alone time!

Swansea, Wales.

Posted on May 6, 2009 by MAL

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Wales was beautiful. I had no idea.

We went up to Swansea on Sunday morning since Jocko had the day off on Monday, and Gemma and Liam had invited us down for a couple of days. Gemma was our official tour guide of Swansea. Spent the day walking around the beach, stopping multiple times to feed the boyfriends, and around the narrow streets. I actually think that the town of Mumbles might have a step up on the Hollywood Hills. It’s twisty and turny with large beautiful houses (plus a few castles here and there) and a gorgeous view of the sea but minus the pollution and mean big headed people and it’s where Catherine Zeta Jones is from (thanks Gem for the insider info!).

For lunch, we went to the King Arthur Inn and had a traditional Sunday roast by the sword in the stone and the round table. Yes, apparently, King Arthur was indeed originally from Wales. Another new tidbit from the wealth of knowledge of our tour guide. The sun was shining, but ended up being too cold to sit outside. The lambs that Jock and Liam had for lunch were probably grateful that they didn’t have to bare another cold dreary day munching grass.

That night we stayed up until about 5AM just playing drinking games and debating our different languages of love. I didn’t know I still had it in me to stay up that late! Although, to be fair, we have been going out quite a bit despite my last entry of claiming to be an old woman. Maybe I’m an old woman during the day with my writing, blogging, housework, and gardening and a dynamic traveling Bristolian socialite by night!

The next day we had an amazing breakfast at The Junction Cafe and then headed down the street to the famous Joe’s Ice Cream Parlour. It was probably the second best ice cream I have ever had right next to Mashti Malone’s in Los Angeles where Jock and I seriously went about twice a week to get their peanut butter chunk ice cream cone and gained five hundred pounds. I do recommend the Ice Cream for anyone taking a stop to Swansea!

All in all, it was really nice to go to a beach town where we could just chill out with some friends, and smell the sweet sea air.

I am old.

Posted on May 1, 2009 by MAL

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On the 2nd day of having internet full time here in the Lopez/McEwan household, and of course, it gets fucked up. Jock has now been on the phone for over two hours, and we finally figured out the disaster! Apparently, it was my fault. We don’t know why, but it was my fault. The internet guy even thinks it was. Here I was after having written for two hours, scrubbed the entire house top to bottom including the toilet, and lo and behold, I think it’s a good time to go online and check out my emails, and I mess it up! I simply turned the internet on, entered a password somewhere I shouldn’t have and all chaos breaks loose.

Oh, well. At least there is Wales to look forward to this weekend. Swansea, here we come!

And bowling tonight – ten pin bowling baby! And Sudoku – why yes, I love the adventures of a good Sudoku puzzle.

In five months I have turned from hip LA party goer on the edge of culture to boring 85 year old English housewife who breaks the internet, and gardens. Yes, did I mention I started gardening for the first time in my life?! I’m not sure if what I did you could actually call gardening, but I bent over and pulled out some greenery that looked like weeds until my back started hurting and dirt filled my fingernails. It was glorious. Man, there were a lot of snails too!